Urban Dictionary describes the term Single as
‘The state of not being another person’s bitch anymore. Feeling free to hit on other bitches and doing whatever you please.’
Which I wholeheartedly completely agree with. Valentines Day or ‘Singles Awareness Day’ has struck a chord in my heart (or lack of) to write a bit about things that we can do on this fine day if you are like me – Single AF.
It’s funny because I didn’t celebrate Valentines day even in my 4 year long relationship mainly due to the fact that my ex was a complete and utter grumpus who was scared of little old Valentines day let alone any sort of long-term commitment ( I should have seen the warning signs from the start tbh).
Being in a relationship and choosing not to celebrate Valentines day together is a one thing, being in a relationship and one of you choosing not to is a completely different story. However the Single life automatically strips you of that choice and leaves you feeling either empowered in your loneliness or the complete opposite as you sit watching Friends re-runs with your face buried in a tub of Ben and Jerrys.
This year I’m going for a galentines lunch with my friend Olivia then actually third-wheeling with one of my friends and her boyfriends to see Jorja Smith so that should be quite nice. I can blissfully enjoy the sound of Jorja whilst sipping on a Gin and Tonic trying to avert my gaze of all the couples with arms around each other possibly playing tongue tennis during Jorjas rendition of ‘ Let Me Down’.
I feel like I sound quite negative about the whole Single thing – I mean, don’t get me wrong it’s fun but it’s also exhausting, do you know how many apps I have? 4! 4 extra Apps. Not a Joke. This is not a Warning. Some of then you even have to pay for?! I think being a full time blogger/youtuber makes it quite difficult to meet people too (definitely not due to the fact that I am INCREDIBLY picky when it comes to dating). I feel like I need to be on an episode of Queer Eye – give me a complete overhaul, a new look, a new pad and a new dish to cook in the kitchen.
People keep saying that ‘Love will come when you least expect it’ Blah blah blah. So I do have those days where I want to pack it all in, delete the apps and wait to meet the right guy in real life. However I know that everyone else is on the apps so….. I should be on them too right? Am I just ranting about my Single Life now? Yes. Am I going to carry on with the things to do today? Yes.
This list isn’t just for that one day of the year, we can all pretty much apply these things to our daily lives – well maybe not the bonfire one but you’ll see what I mean.
1.Treat Yo’ Self
This applies to everyday – indulge in yourself. You are the most important person in the world to you, no matter how much someone else loves you – you’re the one that’s always going to be with you so look after yourself! Splurge on the clothes you want, have a massage, eat that ice cream. Do things that make you happy.
Burn things! Burn the things that you still have from your Ex! Get all your single friends round and have a spooky seance throwing a middle finger to those that no longer matter.
3.Dating App Roulette
Take things less seriously and hook your apps up to your TV and let your friends decide for you – I think I saw this on an episode of Big Bang Theory once and it did look really fun. However I’m unwilling to give my friends my apps because they make bad decisions. I mean just look at their current partners.
Am I right?
4,Have a Galentines Day
Get together with your best single friends and go for a nice meal. I believe Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation made this popular and I think it’s a great idea. However literally ALL of my friends are in long term relationships so it would genuinely be just me. Alone. Again. (apart from Olivia, hey Olivia.)
5, Take a Digital Detox
Throw your phone away! (after you’ve finished reading this post lol.) Put it away, clear your mind. I actually let my phone die sometimes just so I can ignore everyone and then blame it on my battery. You’ll be surprised how engaged you get in the real world once your phone has died. You realise just how much everyone else is on their phone and it’s kind of scary.
6. Do something your Ex Hated!
My ex hated a lot of things so now I can enjoy them all the time because he isn’t here! Things like – eating out at a restaurant, going to gigs, shopping! Fun stuff!!
7. Go on a date
Use those apps to your advantage and set up a date – however always have an exit plan because most of the time people are better in their pictures than they are in real life. ( I feel this way about myself 100% of the time, although once someone told me I look better IRL and I did not believe them for a hot second).
Get a friend to call you half an hour in just to make sure you’re ok. Have a code word to plan an escape, going badly? Say Pineapple. Your friend can then say ‘ YOUR ROOM IS ON FIRE! YOU HAVE TO COME HOME QUICK!’ to which then you explain the situation to your date and make a mad dash for the door.
8.Make a Booty Call
Next level up – revisit an old flame that’s NSA. Friends with benefits or it doesn’t even have to get physical it can just be some sofa cuddles if you know what I mean. Just some company. A Company call. Or a Booty call whatever your nasty self desires at the time.
9.Plan a trip
Next year I’m definitely booking a holiday for MOST of January and this gross part of February because It’s all just a bit much isn’t it? I mean the supermarket already has Easter eggs out. IT’S FEBRUARY!?!?!
10. Go to the Gym
I do this x4 times a week now and it does really help me – it lets me unleash my anger, I put my phone away for an hour at a time, I lose my bodyweight in sweat. It’s just good fun really.
11. Remember it’s just another day.
Like Christmas Day, Your Birthday, Easter etc all these holidays just become less and less special the more you grow up. However I feel like it’s the effort that you put in – what you get out of it. But please don’t let it get you down because like I said, you’ll meet someone when you least expect it.